This is my second-to-last day at work, which is good because the Christmas music is starting to wear on me. The powerHouse office overlooks our bookstore and is totally exposed; we hear and see everything that happens down there, and just like last year, December has meant a steady stream of jingle bell rock. In my two holiday seasons here I’ve heard more mawkish interpretations of the old standards than I care to recount, but two of them have been particularly rough:
Twisted Sister, “Oh Come All Ye Faithful”
(from A Twisted Christmas)
Twisted Sister’s holiday album, A Twisted Christmas, is exactly what you would expect—your favorite carols put through the arena filter by a band who, evidently by their own design, has not matured or evolved in any way since 1984. The really weird thing is that if you watch this back to back with “We’re Not Gonna Take It,” not only is it the same video, it’s pretty much the same song.
Frank Sinatra, “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”
(from The Christmas Album)
I’ve always found this song a little depressing, but that’s not why I’ve included it here. The sanity of any American who intends to venture outside his home during the month of December depends on the acquired ability to tune Christmas music out, and Frankie’s distinctive croon—however charming—makes that damn near impossible. It’s not an accident that of all the singers who have ever lived, he’s the one who got the nickname “The Voice”; the sound of Sinatra exists on a wavelength that cuts through chatter and mainlines straight to your auditory cortex.
